I am on leave yet again. This time unplanned so I have no serial to latch on to. I have no car. Hubby has taken it. So, I am basically stuck at home trying to find something useful to fill up my time.
I am so done with house cleaning and clothes cleaning. Which is why I am stuck in this chair and not walking about the house. Truth be told if I start to walk, my chores are endless. Like right now, the fishes are swimming in murky water.
Which by the way did you know that some fishes’ poop are actually heavier than others? And the heavier they are, the less murky the water will become since it sinks to the bottom and will not get stirred up as easily.
But, where was I?
Oh yes. The nothing to do, nothing much to write stage. Trying to think of a story to write but really I write well only through life experiences.
And right now my experiences in life are 1) how to change a diaper for a struggling child or even 2) how to wear a diaper when the child refuses to lie down. 3) How to get your naughty kid to wash his poop filled bum instead of rolling all over your clean sheets.
I don’t think you would want to read about anything like that, now, would you?
Motherhood. It sure isn’t all it is cut out to be.
Trust Oprah of course to find one mother who writing about her experiences made it rich. Makes you feel even worse. With all that so called writing skill, I can’t even do that !
And look at that mother whose mother inlaw takes care of one kid and the maid taking care of the other. Look at her jet setting around the world. And going where this year? Where in the world do you find the cash? And what brand of a handbag is that?
And not to pour cold water over warm milk but in my hand is warm milk while in that woman’s hand is some cold drink. And she sips it while talking about some new hotel in town. Whilst I hold the baby botel in one hand trying to catch snatches of whatever the rest of the party at my table are bragging about. And I am thirsty too, which is really not the reason why I am not opening my mouth to contribute to the conversation. They say best to keep quiet rather than well, proof that you are indeed dumb. And I am not even blond!
Oh! And did I tell you I am the world’s most rotten friend now. The last time I met up with my best friend was in hospital when I delivered my son. Great social place huh! And my son is now 2 years a some months. And my other best friend who always calls me when she came down to KL now no longer calls me. She instead subtly tells me that she is ill and that some good friends are bringing her dinner when I do decide one day to call her and see how she is doing.
My cell phone has become a hotline instead for the kindergarten teacher and loansharks. I wonder why I even bothered getting a phone for the house!
So I am in a rut. Motherhood is about being in a rut?
Life becomes a monotonuous cycle, marriage becomes a familiarity and the big question is what if your kids turn out not as well as that woman who travelled the world or the one who sipped cold drinks or even the one who had regular sex?
I mean, that could happen you know. From where do we get our solace from?
Now, I think I should get off my bum and walk about the house. Idle words make for nothing.